The Walk Nobody Enjoys

I saw my Republican neighbor this morning leaving his house for work. I said Hi, but he didn’t look too pleased to talk. I said, “Whoa, looks like someone had a helluva debate last night!” He looked over at me with what I could only describe as the shame one sees on someone’s face while doing the walk of shame. You know, the one you get when you sober up and realize how you were used and discarded and now the world is crashing around you.

I said, “You may want to fix that mascara before heading into work, and I definitely would take your panties out of your pocket.” Yep, that did it. I will spare you the language, but there is so much satisfaction in treating right-wingers like the very things they hate.

I put my hands up and yelled, “Don’t get pissy with me just because you have poor judgment skills, and now you feel used and violated, that’s a “you”, not a “me” problem.” He just looked at me and his face contorted, but the frustration just locked him up, and he mumbled as he walked away.

I yelled as he was getting in his car, “Don’t get mad at me bro. It was your decisions that put you on this shameful path. Remember how it feels right now, so you won’t have to feel this bad again!” One look back and another frustration seizure to no words coming out of his mouth.

I smiled, waved and said, “Don’t Forget to Vote!”